Often we, women, want to feel valuable through the relationships we have, and we, naive, believe, that if we can help a man to feel better, then definitely we will feel more valuable and strong and will have a great relationship with such a man, who will be thankful to us forever. FALSE! If a man is not taking responsibility for who he is, you will never be able to respect him and experience that closeness, God intended to take place between a man and a woman. The man’s unresolved wounds will always stand between you and him. Unless you want to create a relationship climate, like a counseling sessions, run out of such men!

A man, experiencing deficiency in who he is as man, in reality is a weak man. His feeling of self-worth is wounded and the last thing, he will be able to do, is to take the responsibility for his love relationship. He can’t be responsible for himself, how can he be responsible for someone else? He most probably will know how to attract women, willing to help his emotional deficiencies, but the last thing, he would do, is the responsibility.

We wish we could know though, how to discern, what are the clues about such men and not to get into messy situations.

Some tips are:

1. He is talking too much about himself

2. His eyes, his words and gestures are begging and engaging your heart to play a Mother Theresa or Counselor role.

3. You can read insecurities in his behavior: shaking, joking instead of talking seriously.

4. Another thing is no positive appreciation of who you are during conversation, as well as no minimal courtesied respect for you as a woman (open the door, let you go in front of him, etc)

5. Critical comments about your personality type, which are ment to diminish your confidence and to keep the situation under control.

6. Pay huge attention to his professional mess. If he screw things up in career, then it is most likely he is looking for a comforter, not someone to love.

7.  If he just broke up from his previous relationship, he most likely wants someone to cry on the shoulder. And according to the dynamics of break ups, there will be definitely a temptation to get back to make peace, so be careful.

8. If he says that his mom was kind of too cold and violent on him, most probably he is looking for a  mother substitute.

9. And if he is confessing you all his sins and how much he wants a change in his life, it doesn’t mean yet that he is there, and there is a huge difference between wanting a change and making a change.

10. He is trying to impress you with what he has, or how many other girls are paying attention to him

11. to be continued…

The main idea to remember is that relationships are tough and require maturity and commitment to other person’s wellbeing, what is quiet a difficult, if not impossible task for someone, who is in a position of insecurity, break up or trauma.

The main thing is to figure out for yourself, how would you like your man to treat you.

Until then, GUARD your HEART, lady and believe that you deserve the man’s best for you!

something died in me… dunnow for how long…. or maybe forever…

it is very possible that a period mark appeares in my life in this area….

dunnow I will ever have a courage to love someone…. or will b interested in loving someone…

something is dead…

Well, I guess I write here only when I am inlove….

Here I am again

Can’t wait to see what will come out of this story…

Anyway… I am free now. After all anger and bitterness, all his betrayals and tries to cover them, his sneaky attitude reached the higher point by trying to arrange our break up events in a way, which are honoring him maximally…What a honor in a break up??? Specially if it is a general cover of an underlying ugly thing: his affair with another woman…

I will be fine, I know… Still, later conclusions on his character are aweful… He lied to me, to his new gf (who was so bravely intimidating me by telling that “I don”t care about your relationship with him” and “I love him and I take him as he is mine”) and he lies to himself, saying that we broke up, instead of recognizing that he left me for another woman…

I still love him, and I wrote him that I don”t want him to feel any guilt related to me. That I and God, we forgive him. I make the analogy between my situation and the situation of Joseph in the Bible, when he said to his brothers: “You intended it for bad, but God will make it for good”.

It was and still is hard to admit that he was with me just for using me (emotionally, spiritually, through my contacts and status , etc)… But it is good it stopped here… I can”t imagine whole life with a man, who says he loves, while he means, that he is glad he can take advantage of you…

My main fear in life was to be betrayed by my lover… But I went through it. Now I don”t fear it anymore… I am strong… I know I could conquer that… Still, I wish I would never had such experience (which, actually my mom went through too) . By the way, my lover knew about my fears and knew about my pain of being from a broken home… He , by himself, was from a broken home too… Still, the difference between us is that I will never allow my home to be broken… And he still follows his family”s chains by breaking what he was considering a relationship to last.

So easily he called me his fiancee, and so easily he said that I am not his fiancee anymore… I was fiancee, just when he needed to talk to others, and to try to raise up his status, when he was fired from playing football in first division…. Now, when all is ok with him, he started to play with another dollies and now he seems to get one in my place …

Anyway, I am proud for my ability to love. And I am glad I am strong enough to love him no matter what… I don”t regret I loved him. Even if it took me a year to endure his humiliations and lyings… Even if for a year I was struggling with my love and hoping that all will be fine… At least, maybe for the first time in his life he had an example of true unconditional love, which covers even those mistakes, he is afraid to recognise for himself… But he rejected that love. This was his choise…

Still jewerly can”t be throuwn for a long time without being noticed by someone else…

Somnenie v sebe korobit dushu\
Uverennosti v dare netu u menea
Zabila ya, chto gladimo mne ushi:
“Liuboviu vechnoiu Ya vozliubil tebea.

Ti-dlea menea sokrovishe tsvetnoye
Oskolki radugi v dushe tvoiei skril Ya
Vstani, posmotri na vse zavetno-molodoye
V tebe: Sposobnosti i tennosti bitia”

Kogda slova Otsa kasaiut dushu
Vesna na serdse greet vseo teplei
I slezi neuverennosti sushit
Ego ruka. I ia idu vpereod smelei

You can go to Harvard
You can be a pilot
You can be an astronaut
But first, be a woman, ooh ooh…
When you’re walking down the street
Show your feminine appeal
Even tho’ you’re wearing jeans
It’s important to be real
You were born to be yourself
So no matter how you feel
If you want to impress the opposite sex
When he takes you for a ride
Let him open you the door
When he asks you for a dance
Let him lead you to the floor
When he kisses you good night
You just leave him wanting more
You can do all you can
Say I am what I am
But first be a woman… oh oh oh oh
When he takes you out to dine
Don’t you end up in his bed
Wedding bells will ring in time
Make him dream of you instead
And his passion can be like
All the stories that you’ve read
He can be Romeo if you act like Juliet
Nowadays it ends too soon
Even tho’ it’s just begun
You can take him to the moon
He’ll leave with the morning sun
So take a lesson from the past
Make him want and make him run…
(You can’t be a quarterback
He can’t wear a pretty dress
You cannot be Superman
And he’s not a shy princess
So why try to be alike
When it’s only self defense ?
You’ve got grace, he’s got style
And together you’ll rhyme
So remember to be true
To the legend that you are
All the feminine in you
Has worked miracles so far
So head up high and don’t be shy
You can reach for any star
You can do all you can…
Say I am what I am
You can be an executive
Hhh ! You can drive a train
You can be a detective…

Author- Liuba Ceban

A wonderful song, full of hope and compassion to those who were got rid from violent relationship

His heated words
They boil over
But they don’t even melt into your mind
‘Cause his cold heart, has frozen over
Every loving feeling that you had inside
You’ve been blinded by fear, guilt, and blame
Holding in the anger and the pain but

You can make
BRICKS FROM THE ASHES
Of his raging fires
And build a highway to the dreams you so desire
You can make
BRICKS FROM THE ASHES
Of the love he burned and build a new life
From the lessons you’ve learned

Sometimes love leaves but desperation
Holds on yesterday
And your heart grieves in isolation
You’ve run out of reasons to stay
It’s time to take your tears and walk away
But you’ll survive, you’ll be O.K.

You can make
BRICKS FROM THE ASHES
Of his raging fires
And build a highway to the dreams you so desire
You can make
BRICKS FROM THE ASHES
Of the love he burned and build a new life
From the lessons you’ve learned

Breaking free is so hard to do
But the time has come to believe in you

You can make
BRICKS FROM THE ASHES
Of his raging fires
And build a highway to the dreams you so desire
You can make
BRICKS FROM THE ASHES
Of the love he burned and build a new life
From the lessons you’ve learned

Awesome tips